There has been a lot going on, this post might be read and might not be, but I'm just writing to let it all off my chest. I only come back here when there is no other source of someone listening to me, maybe it's just the keybord listening to my fingers but typing it off makes me feel a bit better. Looks like I only come here when there's no one that listens. . . and that's the story of my life, no one listens...Whenever I talk it's mostly ignored.
Warning, long post and contains some words I'm ashamed to use.
Sometimes you need space from some people, those you see in your daily university life, those who are Omani and think that there are no limits for anything. Those who ring your apartment bell without prior notice that they are coming. Not only that, but if you say you're busy or you're at someone else's or that you want to sleep or you actually are sleeping they'd say "inta t'thillna, inta ma tb`3ana ngi 3indak..t5aleena n7is inna mthaqleen 3aleek". Ok now, that last one, tell me how can I tell you AIWA INTU WAGD MISTWYEEN T'THAQLU 3ALA IL WA7ID. Sometimes people need privacy, sometimes people need to stay alone and visiting hours shouldn't be as long as way after midnight. The other day friends came over and stayed until 1a.m until they saw the DVDs I have and insisted on watching, I was really tired and sleepy, I tried to say I'm not in the mood for a movie..but they kept saying "aah inta ma tb`3ana ngls 3ndak..etc" so when someone says that you'd want to prove them wrong .. funny thing is, what they insisted on watching was "The Notebook", being the horny Omanis they are after seeing the cover of the DVD thinking there might be some sex scenes in the movie etc. Want to hear the funny part? After that they wanted to watch "Hitch" .. they lasted 50mins of the movie until they said they'll go home because they're so sleepy (at 4a.m on a weekday).
Those who do not know how to talk in public areas without a loud voice. Those who think they can come over at anytime do whatever they want as if there's no limits, maybe that means that they are totally comfortable with you to a point you mean a lot to them and that they feel that you feel the same..sometimes you do and sometimes you don't .. but that's not how things work!
Oh yah, how about this .. you go out with the guys but one decides to stay in your apartment to use the net .. I hate leaving my apartment with someone sitting there, it's not about trust or anything .. but I just hate that, I'd never do that unless that person went out for only 10-30 minutes . Today one of the guys did it, but it's okay .. problem is he took something without permission, that's okay because I know he thought: Ahmed won't say no even if I asked him, Ahmed never says "no" .. Well, okay take it .. but don't take my PS3 Game which I spend hours on every single day playing online! What's worse is that he thought it's a movie! Who the hell would think Call of Duty 5 a movie? Anyways he didn't get away with it just like that .. there were two missing croissonts .. but they were rotten :P .. How's your tummy doing now Abu Shahad? HAHAHAHA
It sucks when someone you care about more than the whole world lets you down, doesn't support you.. just turns 180 degrees on you suddenly just like that .. and you don't even know why..maybe I did a mistake of trying to talk to that person at a wrong time when that person was not having a good day or something .. if that's so, then I'm sorry and I deeply apologize for making it worse for you, but it's always that I need your support and positive feedbacks and comments, finally when I think I'm good at something, and you're the only one who isn't always there to support me. I need it more than anyone else, even if it was criticism. But the thing is, this never happened between us, never .. why now? I'm clueless and lost .. I think about all this all the time. You matter a lot to me and I remember being there for each other in ups and downs .. this can't stop. Whatever it is, I'm sure I did something wrong, whatever it is, I know I went wrong somewhere because this wouldn't come from someone like you just like that. You don't care, and it clearly shows.
I seriously hate the travel agent at my family's travel agency. Before I come back to UK I booked my return back to Oman on the 28th of March thinking that that's when my easter break will start, but it starts on the 3rd of April and I asked him to change my booking from 28th March to 4th of April .. but he proved his roots true that he's such an idiot and booked for me to come back to Oman on the 28th of March and stay in Oman until the 4th of April and go back to UK on that date! Luckily my father asked him about my booking if he got it done and said: Ahmed want's to come back on the 4th, did you book it for him? That's when he got confused and asked me to call him .. that's when he told me all flights are full until 8th of April and that he issued a ticket for me to go back to UK on the 4th of April. In the end I couldn't get a booking until 7th April, night flight.. Everyday I call Emirates service center in Manchester but they tell me all flights are booked until 10th of April, and joke around with me asking if I want to change it to the 10th! Thanks to that mistake, I will only spend 10 days in Oman before I come back to this miserable depressig weather, 4 seasons of the year in 5 minutes.
Speaking of airplanes, I've been watching a lot of Air Crash Investigations few weeks ago until I got 3 continuous nights of nightmares of seeing airplanes crashing..does that mean anything? Or does it only show that I was obssesed with the program I spent a lot of time watching on YouTube? I swear to god the last dream made me think that this time something similar will happen to me, even if I wasn't involved with it in the dream .. more like nightmare.
Want to hear something stupid? I broke my camera lens a few weeks ago. My camera strap was loose and it fell off when it was hanging from my neck.. it fell on the pavement.. thankfully nothing happend to the camera and it was only the lens which I replaced with a new one and took the broken one to repair.
Bad news? Some relative of my parents passed away about a month ago which lead to my brother's wedding posteponement until the 1st of May .. I won't make it. My only brother and I won't be there for his wedding. It breaks my heart, everytime I remember it I break into tears.
I don't know what I'm doing up right now, I fixed my sleeping schedule until the Tuesday that just passed by when I went to the library to work on a lab report from 8pm and finally left the library to hand the lab report in on Wednesday 12p.m and went back to sleep.
This coming summer is the last summer holiday I'll have until I finish my Bachelors Degree. Inshallah next year I will be doing my final year in my course so after that, I don't know how my life will be, if I'd continue masters, start working or have one big holiday.. I want to plan something but I do not know what to do for this last summer before the next big summer. I'm torn between having work experience in the summer or go visit friends in Australia or go for tourism in other countries, I want to make the best out of my holiday but I do not know how .. I think the best thing would be to go not come back to Oman as soon as I'm done with exams in May but spend between 7-10 days somewhere in Europe or visit more than one country and then come back to Oman and start with the work experience. I guess that would satisfy both options but the thing is, for that I'd need a group to go with me straight after exams..and I'll only be in Oman for 10 days this easter to get a Schengen Visa for Europe, and for that I'll need hotel and flight bookings .. it's a short time to plan something.. who to go with .. where to go. My main purpose is for Photography and have a break before I go back to Oman.
I think I should just shut up now, this was a long post and if someone read this, I know you skipped through a lot..
ايش بيقولون لك عني الاعادي
كلام ماله اثر
ما قصدهم سوا عثرة جوادي
حشى علي ما اعثر
مازلت ماسك على عهدي محادي حافظ ودادي
و خير الناس الي هم يحفطون الوداد